Legal Teen Phone Sex

Most people know a few spanish words, like  Pinga , for penis, or Culo, for Ass.   And Bueno, and Muy bien and all that.  But if you really wanna talk my langauge, here are some nasty spanish phrases, for those of you who’d like to know what I wanna hear!

Sonia you are so beautiful. Can I kiss you?  - Sonia, tu eres TAN guapa. Te doy un beso?

I love your tits! - !Tus tetas me encantan!

You have such a beautiful body, young lady! - ! Lo tienes bien bonito el cuerpocito, chica!

I’d like to eat your pussy. Please!! - Quisiera chuparte la panocha. POR FAVOR!

You make me so hard baby - Me das un duro, Nena.

You tell me these things and I get all crazy hot on you.  Especially if you tell me in my ear while holding me down!  Is there anything else you’d like to know how to say en espanhol?  Escribeme un email o habla por telefono!  (That’s write me an email or call me, for you gringos!!)  Ciao!

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SONIA 1 888 228 6071

I took my nephew to the mall with me the other day (don’t ask - I was feeling charitable, and my sister-in-law said she’d pay my phone bill if I did), and I figured I’d let him hop in Santa’s lap for a memorable time.  While he was waiting in line, I was checking things out, and noticed one of Santa’s elves … he was a guy that was in my Art Appreciation class at school.  LMAO … he looked so cute in the little elves outfit.

Well, after my nephew got his picture taken, I took him back home (sister-in-law threw a fit that I was only gone a couple hours, so she’s not paying my phone bill after all), then went home and dressed up in my cutest little schoolgirl outfit … I had a plan.

I dressed up in my short plaid skirt, white top, white bobbie socks and black shoes …  No bra, no panties.  I put my hair up in pig-tails and headed back toward the mall.  I wanted to have sex in Santa’s workshop, that little house behind Santa that the elves kept disappearing into, and emerging with presents for the girls and boys.

After scouting it for a bit, I finally figured out how I’d do it … I snuck in from the back, crawling under the backdrop.  Then I just laid low until one of those kids started screaming and raising a fuss (believe me, I didn’t have to wait long for that), and I darted real quick into the workshop.  There wasn’t much room - boys presents on the right, girls presents on the left, and just a thin path between them.  Once inside, I waited for an elf to come in.  As luck would have it, my classmate was the next elf in.  I giggled and raised his little elf tunic to see his bulge in the little green leotards.  He didn’t take long to figure out what I was doing, and became confused as to whether to continue getting presents or pay attention to me.  I opened my blouse and he forgot about the presents.  We started making out right there on the tight path.

We were just starting to get into it when the other elf popped his head in wondering why the last present hadn’t been delivered.  When he saw us on the floor he just grabbed a present real quick and went back out to Santa.  This was fun … loads of people just feet away, have to be real quiet, the other elf popping in to get presents … the whole thing was so exciting I was cumming in no time.

The rest of the afternoon I just hid out in the workshop and handed out presents to the elves as quickly as they showed up at the door.  It was fun being Santa’s secret little helper.  Maybe I’ll try it next year, too.

1 888 849 2009, ask for Tawndy

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So I was shopping for a new strapon, because my girlfriend decided she WASN’T such a sizequeen after all. I had bought this massive 9″ x 6″ piece that she just couldn’t handle … it took her like a whole two weeks to get up the courage to even let me try.  We failed altogether to get her relaxed enough to take it the first time, and the next two times I fucked her with it she was begging me to stop after like ten minutes!  So needless to say we werne’t getting our money’s worth out of this lil investment.

I used to not care too much about cocks, as I’m quite happy with my clit and vag combo… it feels great and it’s compact and when you’re not using it you don’t have to think about it.  But in the last year or so I’ve gotten major penis envy.  If I could have a cock for like a week or mabye a month.. a REAL one.. OH MAN.  The faces I would fuck!  The holes I would fill!!!  The girls I would knock up!  Alas, I was not gendered thusly… so I must content myself with strapons and dildos and vibes.  Which do have their advantages as they are totally customizable …. 

But again. lately… I’ve been obsessing over having a dick.. and since I can’t have a real one, I can at least do the next best thing and get a strap on that would look more like the dick I woulda been more like the dick I woulda had if I were born a boy.   My cousin Linc told me once that a guy’s dick is proprotional to the distance from the top of his middle finger to the bottom of his wrist.  I didn’t believe him but one day he showed me the proof and lo and behold.  I’ve checked out this ratio a few times with other guys and it seems to hold up.   So… anyway…. I’m a pretty lanky gal and I have long skinny limbs… including hands and feet.  I measured the distance from my middle finger to wrist and its a solid 6″ believe it or not.  nothing special but definitely within average range.   So I’ve been looking to collect a 6 incher…. which isn’t hard at all.  What IS impossible it seems is to find a dick that actually looks like a dick.  In terms of skin color.   I don’t have a fortune to spend but I wouldn’t mind shelling out a few extra on something that actually remotely matches my skin color.  And if that isn’t possible.. well hell at least A HUMAN BEING’S skin color.  I’ve never seen a real life cock that matched the pastel pink/cream/beige vomit thingy that the dildo world seems to think represents skin color.   And most don’t even have balls or piss slits…  details matter people!

Anyway… so I’ve told my gal that this time I’m doing the strapon thing my way… and whatever dick I come up with is the one she’s gonna have to love.. same as if I were any normal dude.  She’s begrudgingly agreed….  she’ll be just fine.  She only THINKS she’s a size queen… but it’s the motion of the ocean n ot the size of the ship, right??    But as of now we’re stuck on dry land.. cuz I don’t even have a tugboat yet.   Any suggestions on where to find a realistic in every detail sort of strap on??

BOBBIE 1 888 408 6484

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I’m poor and horny.  That makes me porny!

What can I say?  Im gonna be hangin with my big bro’s poker buddies the tonite!  My older bro is in mexico right now visitin his dad’s side of the family (we got different dads, but I ain’t slept with HIS yet lol).  He never lets me come around his friends when he’s stateside cuz he know how i am.  But he’s outta town so there’s nothin he can do about it ha ha!  I know what nights they like to play poker, and I know where they like to play and where they live.  I think it’s time I had me a little fun and maybe got some extra spending cash for the holidays while I’m at it.  I’m a bad ass poker player…  especially strip poker.  And once I’m down taking those cabrones to the poorhouse, I’ll let them play a little more poker on my panocha!! !  Watchate!!!  It’s been too long since my last gangbang, bitches!  I need some relief!!!

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SONIA 1 888 228 6071

Last weekend I went clubbing with a friend of mine.  Since I’m not old enough for the bars, I ‘borrowed’ my brother’s drivers license (he’s in the military and left it home).  I had to strap my boobs down pretty good, and left off my make-up, and that way I kind of looked close to him.  I stuffed all my hair up under a top-hat that my friend had, and I was set … my clubbing dress clung tightly to my skin under the boy clothes I had on.

Once inside the club I just headed back to a dark table in the corner with my friend and slid the pants off, took off the shirt, then took off the hat.  After that, I went to the ladies’ room with my friend and used the make-up in her purse to fix up my face - voila! Ready to party!

Out on the dancefloor I had a blast.  One partner after another, I was a dancing fool.  When I got too tired, I headed back to our table, usually with at least one guy in tow.  I’d take a big gulp off my Sloe Gin Fizz and then make out with the guy for awhile before heading back out on the floor.  I should have printed up business cards for how many times I gave my phone number out.

After a great night clubbing,  I put the top-hat back on, just not covering my hair, and headed out the door.  I’m sure my brother won’t miss one pair of clothes when he gets back … he probably won’t even notice.

1 888 849 2009, ask for Tawndy

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