Legal Teen Phone Sex

So I was shopping for a new strapon, because my girlfriend decided she WASN’T such a sizequeen after all. I had bought this massive 9″ x 6″ piece that she just couldn’t handle … it took her like a whole two weeks to get up the courage to even let me try.  We failed altogether to get her relaxed enough to take it the first time, and the next two times I fucked her with it she was begging me to stop after like ten minutes!  So needless to say we werne’t getting our money’s worth out of this lil investment.

I used to not care too much about cocks, as I’m quite happy with my clit and vag combo… it feels great and it’s compact and when you’re not using it you don’t have to think about it.  But in the last year or so I’ve gotten major penis envy.  If I could have a cock for like a week or mabye a month.. a REAL one.. OH MAN.  The faces I would fuck!  The holes I would fill!!!  The girls I would knock up!  Alas, I was not gendered thusly… so I must content myself with strapons and dildos and vibes.  Which do have their advantages as they are totally customizable …. 

But again. lately… I’ve been obsessing over having a dick.. and since I can’t have a real one, I can at least do the next best thing and get a strap on that would look more like the dick I woulda been more like the dick I woulda had if I were born a boy.   My cousin Linc told me once that a guy’s dick is proprotional to the distance from the top of his middle finger to the bottom of his wrist.  I didn’t believe him but one day he showed me the proof and lo and behold.  I’ve checked out this ratio a few times with other guys and it seems to hold up.   So… anyway…. I’m a pretty lanky gal and I have long skinny limbs… including hands and feet.  I measured the distance from my middle finger to wrist and its a solid 6″ believe it or not.  nothing special but definitely within average range.   So I’ve been looking to collect a 6 incher…. which isn’t hard at all.  What IS impossible it seems is to find a dick that actually looks like a dick.  In terms of skin color.   I don’t have a fortune to spend but I wouldn’t mind shelling out a few extra on something that actually remotely matches my skin color.  And if that isn’t possible.. well hell at least A HUMAN BEING’S skin color.  I’ve never seen a real life cock that matched the pastel pink/cream/beige vomit thingy that the dildo world seems to think represents skin color.   And most don’t even have balls or piss slits…  details matter people!

Anyway… so I’ve told my gal that this time I’m doing the strapon thing my way… and whatever dick I come up with is the one she’s gonna have to love.. same as if I were any normal dude.  She’s begrudgingly agreed….  she’ll be just fine.  She only THINKS she’s a size queen… but it’s the motion of the ocean n ot the size of the ship, right??    But as of now we’re stuck on dry land.. cuz I don’t even have a tugboat yet.   Any suggestions on where to find a realistic in every detail sort of strap on??

BOBBIE 1 888 408 6484

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I love how small my tits are.  Most girls are all self conscious with their itty bitties but not I, said the itty-titty tiger!!  I love my sensitive little mouthfuls… my lil mosquito bites… I love that I can wear a shirt with no bra and not jiggle and swing like a freaking cow.   I love that I can flatten them out with a tight sports bra and dress up in guy drag and totally pass as a dude.  I love that when I get naked I look like a prepubescent girl or a teenage boy from across the room.. I love the tightness and smallness of my body.  I’m stringy and compact and flexible…  I can fit in just about any tight space.  Having a skinny small breasted body for a girl is just way more versatile.  I can look like a fashion model or the boy next door.  I can be anything you want me to be.  And my pussy is always CRAZTY tight no matter how much I get fucked.. cuz i’m just a small girl all around.  I would totally love fucking me if I were a guy.  Or a girl!  It’s all about the self love right now, and all this talk about my body has totally got me pinching on my nips.  So if you don’t mind I’m gonna tap one out on the ol beatbox here… TAP TAP TAP. LONG LONG SHORT.  S O S.  S E X X X X X… Mmmmmmmmm!!!

BOBBIE 1 888 408 6484

http://legalteenphonesex.com/bobbie.html

Haha I was talking to my little cousin Linc this weekend and he was reminding me of what a perv I’ve always been.  ALWAYS.  Like the times I used to force him to play gynecologist with me even tho we didn’t know what we were doing.  I would put my legs up on the bedposts and he would look under my skirt or my shorts and say “Yup yup… looks pretty bad in there”  and I’d yell at him to look CLOSER!!  CLOOOOSER!!   Because I figured that’s what happened in real doctor’s offices.   I would also force him to watch me while I did obscene things to his toys….   Including his Mr. Potato Head LOL.. of all things.  But let me tell you something.. that detachable tongue and lips came in mighty handy!!!    I would say “Hey Linc, let’s play Mr. Potato Head…. without the head!!”   And he’d groan NOOOoOoOoo please I hate that game.  But I’d be all “too late…”  and with my legs spread wide I’d force him to put the little eyes nose and glasses on my pussy!  How the hell did we never get caught??  The poor boy must have been traumatized by all this action becuz he’s as  gay as a blade now.  Seriously.. grew up to be a total cocksucker and it’s all my fault.    Then again maybe it just runs in the family… hrmmm…

BOBBIE 1 888 408 6484

http://legalteenphonesex.com/bobbie.html

Ha!  Yes I AM the cocksucking champion!!  My gay guy buddies and I were hanging out at this party and we got to talking shit about who sucks dick better, or mainly how no girl can ever suck dick as good as a gay guy.  And I started bragging that I’ve gotten rave reviews, they were rolling their eyes.  So I was all what do i have to do to prove it to you??  And then one guy who I don’t know very well, a big black guy named Roy who is into both guys and girls said I’ll be happy to settle this debate for you.  So me and my friend Bruce took turns slobbing Roy’s knob while everybody else looked on cheering and applauding. It was fucking hot fighitng over that dick with Bruce, snatching it out of his mouth and taking it all the way to the back of my tonsils in one stroke… gagging on it and shaking my head on it like a rabid dog.   Anyway Roy said it was really close but that I won by a Lick….  Bruce and the gay guys were crying foul cuz Roy is bi leaning more towards girls anyway but WHATEV man!!  I won! I am now certified… by a big black dick motherfucker… MY BLOW JOB SKILLS ARE SUPERIOR TO YOURS!!  Hehehe….  I wish I could get a plaque or a trophy or something.  Hrmmmmm…

BOBBIE 1 888 408 6484

http://legalteenphonesex.com/bobbie.html

How how how.  HOW??  How do I go about telling my latest fuckbuddy that I’m really a female??

He’s going to absolutely freak out.  He’s a top masculine type gay guy, and he loves to be serviced orally.  He says that I’m one of the best and nastiest cocksuckers he’s ever met.  I always manage to make him shoot his load down my throat, and all with no reciprocation.  That was my idea of course.  He’s been waiting to see me stroke my cock while I suck him off..  I say Ohhhhh Noo thanks that totally ruins my concentration I prefer to jerk off later in private, blah blah blah.  He bought it the first time but he’s getting more insistent now and I don’t know what to do!  He really does think I’m just some super young blonde twink….  He prefers this type exclusively, he says… no exceptions.  But when we were  first chatting  online I asked if he was bi or ever been with a girl, and he said GROSS no way women disgust him he’s a proud gay man, yadda yadda.  So I knew not to press the point hehe.  Its wrong of me I know. I shouldn’t have deceived him I shouldn’t have taken this on as a challenge, but I was so horny for this guy!  But at some point he’s gonna figure out that I’ve gotta Big ol’ Vajayjay in my pants instead of a hot twink cock.  It’s not like I’m afraid he would beat me up or anything… I just don’t know what to expect!  Maybe he suspects already??  He keeps bootycalling me so maybe he doesn’t care after all??    AAAAAHHH THE PRESSURE!!  I will see him again tonight after work, more than likely.  He’s been calling for his weekly blowjob every thursday night like clockwork.  When exactly should i mention my ladybusiness to him?  When his dick is in my mouth already, or right after he cums??  Maybe right in the middle of deep throating him, so he won’t be able to make out the words…  “By the way, Dude… I’m not really  a dude… “  Heh.  *sigh*….

BOBBIE  1 888 408 6484

http://legalteenphonesex.com/bobbie.html

I’m so fuckin excited, I’ve finally mastered the art of PEEING WHILE STANDING UP!!  YES!  It’s true, ladies.. you too can learn how to stand and pee at the same time without making a mess! You too can relieve your bladder with maximum convenience!  Aim your urine with deadly accuracy, win pissing contests with your brother or boyfriend!!!  I feel like the secret of the ages has finally been revealed to me LOL.

So I had looked around online for info about standing up to pee and found quite a few.  There are even classes that teach females to pee standing, but I wasn’t about to pay for something I was sure I could learn on my own.  Just google on it and you’ll find a free tutorial on it.   Don’t get discouraged once you start tho…   It takes a while. I mean shit, I’ve been practising for about 3 months now, and last night was the first time i was brave enough to try it out of the shower!  But guess what I can do it! I can pee standing with one hand behind my back,  like any man out there!!  Now I’m just pissing up a storm!  There’s a trick to it.. it’s a bit of internal pressure coupled with finger pressure , spreading your labia  wiiiide with two fingers and pressing down just right to isolate the urine stream… Kegels most definitely do help with control and aim.. but of course I have pussymuscles of STEEL anyway lol.  Ask anyone he’s even tried to fingerfuck me… you’ll sprain your fuckin knuckles in this box, buster!   So anyway yeah… I’ve practiced aiming in the shower for weeks… but last night was the moment of truth.  I lifted the toilet lid and planted myself about two feet from the toilet, stretched and aimed my junk and I let er rip!  Oh to see that golden stream sail  right into the bowl… it was better than basketball! I even got bold and moved back to about 3 feet away to see how far I could piss.  Not a drop spilled I tells ya!!!

I’m obnoxiously excited by this. I want to piss on everything I see.  I can’t wait til winter so I can write my name in the fuckin snow!!!  I wish I had somebody to show this to LOL.  Maybe if you call I’ll  let ya listen while I drain the lizard hehehehe…

BOBBIE 1 888 408 6484

http://legalteenphonesex.com/bobbie.html