Jan 9
To the Stars - And Beyond
Okay, I found this cool new online space game that you can conquer planets, make ships, destroy other people’s ships … and almost no other girls play.
Perfect for me.
I’m in there, flirting away with all these ’captains’ who have had girls ignore them (except in math class on test days), and one of them says it would be so fun if my captain’s chair had a dildo attached to it, and a bunch of the others agree. Well, I’m in the game to win, so I tell them that if they reveal their fleet location and strength to me, I’ll talk with them one-on-one while I have a dildo in my ‘captain’s chair’. I immediately get 4 of them lined up, first ‘cum’, first served (pardon the pun). I go running around my place looking for a dildo, and all I can find is a strap-on that I hadn’t used for awhile (Where’s a good vibrator when you need one??). I used the straps plus a few other restraints I keep around to attach the strap-on to my chair. Now I’m ready for my first engagement. I start chatting with “Dragon Slayer”, telling him how I rigged up the dildo, and he gives away his fleet locations and strengths … BOOM!! I’m there in minutes to blow his ships into nether-dust. He’s happy, because I get him to blow at the same time. Next is an adversary, “AWatcher” … well, he must specialize in voyeurism, because he falls for my sweet stories and gives up his fleet in order to watch the picture I paint for him. My third victim is supposed to be an ally, but I’m beyond greed now - I want to blow them all up. “Euthanized” tells me where to find his ships, and I pick them apart as I give him a huge explosion of his own. This whole time, I’m riding my strap-on, wiggling with excitement with each ship that gets blown apart, and my chair is getting kind of sloppy-wet, if you follow me. Finally the fourth and final victim of the night … the biggest enemy of the game … “Absynthe” gives up his fleet … not one or two, but three fleets of ships, any one of which could out-gun me, so while I’m chatting him up and getting him ready for his version of a big bang theory, I finally come across a great solution … I talk him into attacking his own fleets until the ships he has left are so weak and full of holes that I can sail right in and blow the last little bits into atoms. He doesn’t care, because all he’s seeing is stars. Four victims and a fabulous ride on my dildo. Now I’m one of the top captains in the game, so there’s no backing down … I’ll be playing this for awhile.
1-888-350-4457, ask for Erin
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